Me to You

Life is airing on the hard side the last couple of months. I am in the midst of a flair up do to who knows what currently. I have been back on a strict diet since our trip to Guatemala, minus an anniversary day away last month, yet I have not been able to climb back out from this deteriorating body of mine. My lymph nodes are painfully swollen, it's hard to breath, and my body is aching with inflammation. I can't think clearly and I am currently just floating from one task to another. I have walked this heavy path before and I know I will be able to breath deep again, take walks as a family, and just not feel so very much all the time. This body of mine hates me. I share this piece of me not for a woe is me moment, but I share because I know there are others who have and are and will walk a similar path and I am here to say, me too. Your path may look different than mine, but the path can all lead to the same lonely place. No one wants to be the friend who complains all the time. No one wants to plan their day around what must get done and then divide it to a point where you think you can handle it, but most of the time can't and those tears will then flow. No one wants to be that person. I and others have prayed for my healing for years now and at times I wonder why it has not fully happened, but then I meet someone who walks a similar path and I can cry along with them and truly know the depth of their pain. That is a gift. To know you are not alone during a season of life that at times can make getting out of bed even hard can act as an offering. Here I am giving me to you saying we can do this. Whatever season you are in that may leave you with a lose of words I can confidently say He hears us even when it may not be evident in the ways we desire. I can confidently say that there is a new day everyday and one of those days the pain will lift and we will all be set free from whatever this is. I can confidently say there is hope amongst us. How do I know this? Simply because He spoke life even before I was born so instead of deeming this a season of suffering I shall name it a season of hope. A hope for a new day that includes taking a deep breath without pain. I earnestly ask you to not only focus on what you want to happen, but also take the time to focus on where you are at this very moment and find the hope within it. It makes those days doable even if the tears do accompany it.

Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  - Romans 5: 2-5

SOURCES: duvet {similar} | sheets {our colorway discontinued} | cement ring dish {similar} | end table | roman shades | lamp {even better} | A few of the books I am trying to read yet the brain fog makes it next to impossible. These have been a few that have been sticking... here, here, and here.

On Just Being

School started back and I just was not ready. I have loved having my babies home even on the days they fought like cat and mouse and I thought my head would spin till it came clear off. I know we need to get back to schedules, less screen time, and for me work. I know our days of lazing around and doing whatever we fancied on a whim is not practical for a long term plan, but oh how I loved it. We were just being together. Every once in a while I had a pang every time someone asked the kiddos what they did this summer and they did not fill their answers with summer camps, sport activities, and some other exotic way of life. To be honest those pangs arise as they always do when I feel like I am not being enough. Even now I wounder if I was too lax, did not create enough moments to make big memories. Part was due to having a flair up since Guatemala. My body can not handle much. The other part of this summer was completely selfish. I know as the kiddos get older their summers will be filled with wanting to be out and about... without me, but with their friends. I have the deepest desire to hold onto the days when they are okay just being too. They are my gift and I want to continue to unfold them as they grow and not miss a moment. To be the one to help mold them into who they are meant to be. I do not take that charge lightly. A charge from above that was gifted to me the moment they were laid into my arms and heart. Now to find new routines and find new ways to just be during this season when school, homework and sports start to run wild. The moments of just being are the moments I desperately do not want to miss. Those are the memories I long for.

These words I read on Design for Mankind and it quickly became my anthem for summer as they penetrated deep within my soul...

"And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, "This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!" And each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, "No. This is what's important." - Iain Thomas

Just Be.

* Erin from Design for Mankind is coming out with a book. Her writing can lull me into another place. A good place where I want to be a better version of my self and actually forgive myself when those days don't happen. She has a gift and I am thrilled she is sharing it with us. You can put the book on pre-order here.

Organizing the Kitchen

This kitchen does not a have dedicated pantry. Our first kitchen had more space than we ever needed and our second barely had any at all. This kitchen is the perfect in between. When we first moved in I put all our white dishes behind the glass and the so called pantry was just a few cabinets that deemed not practical. At first I was hesitant to put all our food in sight, but in the end it doesn't bother me at all. Now this whole area acts as a pantry wall. 

All my baking flours, oats, nuts, etc all live in glass jars from ikea and World Market. I bought a few wood trays to keep medicine and a few can goods corralled throughout.

The new cereal keepers have been amazing! No more throwing away stale cereal because apparently it is really hard to push the plastic bag back down. Plus they are really easy to use and minimize kiddo spillage. These fit a full family size bag.

I have always dreamed of having a spice drawer. No idea why, but they always seem so organized to me rather than having to go one by one trying to find that eluding cinnamon that made its way to the back of a cabinet. Most drawer organizer were to deep for this shallow drawer, but I came across these and they were exactly what we needed. they were cheap and work well. A win in my book. Now when I ask the kiddos for a spice it is an ease for them to pick out the right one. With my Dr. ordered diet I have to be really careful with what I put in my body. Love my spices from Primal Palate, because I know they are safe and I love what they do for a dish!

The two bottom cabinets are dedicated to kid snacks. It helps them and their friends to know exactly where they can grab from. Again the new canister are amazing. I did quite a bit of research on what type and brand to buy and these seemed to be winners on so many lists. They were a bit of an investment, but when figuring how many boxes of things we had to throw away because they grew stale I feel less guilt.

Here you can see our laundry nook.. The washer and dryer are completely open to the kitchen and it's something I am hoping we can tackle later this year. Anyhow the hooks were here when we moved in and they have been so practical. The wicker basket holds things like potatoes, avocados, and onions. It keeps them off the counter and keeps them fresher longer due to lack of sun.

This is the shelf we added when we we did a bit of a refresh in the kitchen. Since we rarely have littles in the kitchen anymore this ended up being the perfect spot to house all our cups and mugs. Easy for the kids to reach and easy for them to put them away when unloading the dishwasher. We will see what happens when my friends with toddlers come over. Ha.

The cabinets in this kitchen are high. Perfect for my 6'6" husband not so much for my petite self. I found this ladder at ikea and I loved the simplicity of it. It hangs in the laundry nook when not needed. The upper upper cabinets hold things we don't use often like the crock-pot, Christmas cookie cutters, and my over abundance of glass baking dishes.

Here you can see a peek of the washer. The glass in this house still amazes me. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE to cook in this kitchen now? It's far from perfect, but it is perfect for us.