Thirteen

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I am sure no words can do justice when it comes to describing this girl. She is everything. She is brave, she is strong, she is tender, she is fun, she is gentle, she loves without you having to love her first. She has a heart of gold and this past year it has been broken time and time again. She isn't one who has many friends so when one says they are done it leaves her very lonely.  She has a hard time fitting into certain groups and has struggled finding her own. I can't tell you how many tears have been shed because she was TOLD she wasn't cute enough, her clothes could be better if only she wore them this way, etc. etc. Her heart breaks and so does mine. As a parent you want everyone to see her as I do. She can be your greatest friend. As a parent I want to go and remind everyone to be kind. As a parent I want to keep her home and protect her from all the lies that we constantly have to remind her are not true. Most importantly though I know our job is to raise her in constant love and support. To be her greatest allies and encourage her to not give up on others or more importantly herself. To never loose her contagious laugh, to always be brave enough to try new things even when it doesn't always work out, to always be kind to others because you don't know what their own battles are. I pray that this year as she enters 7th grade it will go better. She will again have her crew and maybe the naysayers will have decided to silent their judgments. I also pray that if this is not our year again then she will still find the joy in the every day. That it will never weigh her down and silence her brave heart. 

Saturday she turns 13 and she gave me permission to share our struggles with school life and bullying. She is the girl who wants to make this world a better place for everyone or even just the one person who is left in the corner. She is that girl.

*Writing this post was hard. Really hard. At times the screen becomes so blurry through all the tears it became not only emotionally hard to write, but physically. We are and have been in a season of not understanding. I hope this post not only helps those walking the similar path, but also to take a minute before school starts and remind your child in the importance of being kind. Of course it's never your child who would do such a thing, but what if your child could be the one to reach out and check on the one who was pushed again in PE on "accident" rather than just staring and sometimes laughing. What if that one short talk can set them up for not only school book success, but also success in kindness. 

3 things

FAMILY: I've been putting the house together slowly when it comes to making holes in the walls that we painstakingly painted for weeks on end. I did finally add my most prized piece of art though. I could not stand it being packed away any longer. My mother passed it down to me. What make it so special? Ellie's namesake painted it, my grandmother. It's a little reminder of my family daily as I walk out of my bedroom. 

NATURE: We added a new tree to our home that is quickly becoming a greenhouse of sorts. It's in the olive tree family, but I can't remember the official name for the life of me. She has dropped a few leaves which can be the shock of the move or something else entirely. I am really praying she stays awhile. Could not imagine killing such a beautiful piece of nature. 

photo by: Rylee Hitchner

photo by: Rylee Hitchner

LIFE: I turned 36 yesterday. The kids were baffled why I would work on my birthday, but alas that is life. Does one ever really feel their age? At times I feel like I am still in my early 20's straight out of college. The girl who is still trying to figure out her place in this great big world. Then other times I feel like I've done enough laundry to last a life time twice over. I am a girl who has lived a long enough life that I can now help others through whatever stage they are in. I did find a gray hair and I am gaining laugh lines that no potion can erase. I enjoy getting another year older. Maybe it's because I enjoy the thought of growing another year wiser. My story has lasted 36 years thus far. It's had it's high's and low's, but it's my story and one that I am grateful to share with you all.